You have probably been sent to this page because you asked me a personal question regarding my identification and self-identification. This is my polite way of saying I will generously call you whatever you want; but I refuse to tell you what to call me. I owe you nothing.
There is a worryingly increasing tendency for people to self-proclaim themselves as being “aware.” This is misguided and arrogant, since a far more accurate statement would be “interested in increasing one’s own inadequate awareness.” Equally concerning is the tendency of introducing oneself as “Aard V. Ark (he/him),” or “Zee B. Ra (she/her).”
Introduce yourself however you want, but you can’t force me to introduce myself the same way.
There are a limited number of circumstances where gender and ethnicity are relevant. For example, doctors and immigration officers may need such details for medical diagnosis or official ID purposes. In most other cases it’s simply off-topic. Perhaps I self-identify as having a gender. Perhaps I have an ethnicity. Congratulations to me – I have some traits which some other humans have.
I don’t care… because it’s most likely not relevant to the task at hand.
You don’t work at border control. You shouldn’t care where I came from. Not knowing where I came from, it is impossible for you to practice many kinds of discrimination. This in turn means that if you find fault with me, I won’t be able to pretend it’s due to prejudice against my background.
You can call me whatever you want. Call me “him.” Call me “her.” Call me “moron.” Rudeness isn’t a crime1 – in fact it’s a very efficient way to communicate your dissatisfaction. It also allows you to let off steam, rather than building up anger and one day exploding in a fit of rage.
In return, I will generously not insist on the equal right to call you whatever I want. Instead, I will use your preferred pronoun, salutation, etc. because I have better things to do than argue with pseudo-woke people.
-
Rudeness isn’t a crime; harassment is. If you don’t know the difference, you need to stop taking advice from web pages and seek professional advice from a lawyer and therapist. ↩